Richard Rothwell’s portrait of Mary Shelley ~ 1840
Frankenstein’s Bastard
I malformed
from aborted bloodbaths
to bite the hands
of a kleptomaniac midwife
Dear Frankenstein
Do I,
embolden your bestial apathy
with my woes?
Am I,
merely a pantomime
for the parochial aristocracy?
fated to this warped pestilence — the stench of patricide gestates in my throat
My heart is a contaminant; an abberation that anchors the intonation of a lover’s gaze
felicity dwindles in my wake,
it dare not breach
the elongated visage of my
consumption
I am shrouded
by an opulent darkness
that fosters the penury of my soul
there’s no alienist for what lives inside of me
My bones scythe a fissure in empiric science
I am the reification of death:
cobbled by inviolable skin
with ears to inoculate the
incantation of an exorcist
My iris blackens the convex of your erstwhile sun
Halcyon birds
Plummets where i walk
. . .
Dear Frankenstein
You, who molded me from madness;
map me a path to digress from this
metastasized matter
place me in an era,
where the kinship of poetry
have not forsaken me
Where even I,
tread with shadows bereft
–
A.G., I love this!!! Each line is filled with so much meaning…
But these particular lines express the theme of the whole piece with vivid expression…
“I am shrouded
by an opulent darkness
that fosters the penury of my soul
there’s no alienist for what lives inside of me”
I love the image of opulent darkness.
Opulence: rich, luxurious splendour…to match this with darkness is very a propos and really drives home just how far gone you are…but there is also beauty in these lines: an opulent darkness sounds almost inviting. I wouldn’t mind joining you in such a space… ; )
And, “…no alienist for what lives inside of you”, again, we are reminded that you are beyond repair. But of course a psychiatrist couldn’t help someone in your state!
I love the rich, Victorian-era style of writing, as well. It is evocative of the time and feelings you are describing. (The only thing missing is a traditional Victorian style flower arrangement) ; )…Perhaps some wilting, black roses…?
At the end, I sense some hope…”You, who molded me from madness;
map me a path to digress from this…” Is it possible? Could you escape the madness?
AMAZING!
~Wilde xo
LikeLiked by 6 people
Wilde, you’ve assimilated this piece so beautifully. And I can’t thank you enough! Your in-depth analysis of mine, and the other members’ work is an incredible asset for MP. The darkness has definitely become too comfortable to a point where it almost feels opulent. I’ve resonated with this character for more than a month now that it felt like I was writing about myself. No alienist can help. — I’m a Victorian novice, therefore your comment is even more appreciated.
there might be hope, though. Like you pointed out 🙂
-A.G. Keeping a space for you.
LikeLiked by 5 people
I am having trouble deciding which line I like best, though these ones sticks out to me as particularly profound:
“I am the reification of death:
cobbled by inviolable skin
with ears to inoculate the
incantation of an exorcist
My iris blackens the convex of your erstwhile sun”
And once again, I must reiterate that your vocabulary is profound – you utilize new and dazzling words at just the write moments and without turning your poetry overly academic. I’m in awe at how you strike that balance. I’m also replying under this comment because wow, I don’t think I could give a better analysis than this one here!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would have loved this compliment for just the top half alone, but the fact that you pointed out the academic part makes it even better! Without that equilibrium it can either come across as too simple or too didactic. Thank you so much. It really means a lot that you, too assimilated this one as intended.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! It is a remarkable gift, my friend! You are very successful in this style – again, I envy the balance!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We learn from each other. Thanks again. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
To me this almost epitomises the struggle of acceptance that people experience when trying to be themselves. Your language works effectively somewhere between the Victorian Gothic and sparceness of minimalist writing. I’m impressed.
LikeLiked by 6 people
Hey, Chris. Thank you so much for the great compliment. I really appreciate your take on this piece. I’m probably myself a little too much. I am looking forward to your introduction next week!
LikeLiked by 5 people
You’re welcome. This had a great feel about it. By the way ad an introduction would it be ok simply to post a piece of writing? Also, are you happy for short stories to be added?
LikeLiked by 4 people
Yes, we’re open to it all. Poetry, prose, flash fiction, music, film come what may..
LikeLiked by 4 people
Wow, this is incredible. I am truly at a loss for words.
LikeLiked by 5 people
Hi, Aurora. I’m glad that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much!
LikeLiked by 4 people
I love this. 👍
LikeLiked by 4 people
Hi, PrettyKoolDame. I love that you love it! Thank you so much.
LikeLiked by 4 people
So much to like here but this really stood out to me:
felicity dwindles in my wake,
it dare not breach
the elongated visage of my
consumption
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thank you. I appreciate that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just a great piece of work. The relentless tries to get above ones faith and to prove oneself. I love your choice of word and way you weave them to perfection.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Shantanu, your comment tells me that you get what I was trying to achieve with this creation. Thank you ever so much. Much appreciated.
LikeLiked by 3 people
My pleasure and thank you for sharing your great works. It is always refreshing to read your work
LikeLiked by 2 people
as a frankenstein fan (obviously) this did justice to the creature, who is often overlooked as one of the greatest, most sad characters of all time.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sam, this approval to me, is the same feeling you get when david comment’s on your work. Thank you so much, Senpai. Now I can finally get back to our sequel 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
the saga continues.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The reification of death…wish that was my line. My compliments.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Mr Cake it is always an honour to receive feedback from you, the arbitrator of all things Art. I’m glad to see our mutual friend has brought you to my new home. Thank you for the compliment, good Sir.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will certainly swing by. Do you take submissions for longer poems by any chance?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, i do. You can email me for more info. chels.sarcasmo@gmail.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will certainly do so, thank you kindly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on erichmichaels and commented:
Frankenstein’s Bastard by A.G. Diedericks at moralitypark. Anachronism, self-identity and wonderfully dark…just fantastic!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow. Im honoured by this. Thank you so much, Erich. It really means a lot to me. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are absolutely welcome! Great piece of writing. I loved the language and the sort of micro to macro buildup, and the sense of marginalization and anachronism was great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You always have a way of summarizing my work in the way it was intended. Always grateful. Thanks again, Sir.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is exquisitely terrifying A.G, and saturated in both melancholy and rebellion. As ever, I am humbled by your gift!
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re too sweet! Thank you for your incredible support, my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You could make me sell my soul to the devil. That’s how persuasive your writing is.
The Gothic mystery is ultimately always a psychological one, right? The demons are not outside, in unknown and unknowable gods and spirits, but within us.
An excellent piece, A.G.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! This is a stunning compliment. Thank you so much. And i agree; it is always the psychological aspects that is scarier than any amount of gore.
LikeLiked by 1 person